The Marriage Relationships Site

8 Reasons “Real Marriage” is for Singles | The Bridge Church

admin — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:43:03 +0000

Posted by Josh Howerton on Feb 20, 2012 | 0 comments

TOTALLY reposing this from Mars Hill Church (the church that produced the book we’re distributing to The Bridge), but it was so good I wanted to share it here. For those of you who are single and hearing that we’re focusing on the Real Marriage content over the next weeks, you may be thinking, “The misery of it all! Another reminder that I’m single.” You may be tempted to check out for a while or not pay attention, but that would be a mistake, as Real Marriage will be important for you.

Here are eight reasons why Real Marriage is for singles…

1. Real Marriage Is about Biblical Relationships in General

Because a marriage is based in friendship, the principles we share in Real Marriage are principles that apply to all friendships. The week (and chapter) on friendship in marriage will also help you be a better friend and build deeper friendships.

2. You’ll Probably Be Married One Day

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people will get married. So, Real Marriage will be great preparation for you for that day. Take it from a guy who found many of the land mines by driving over them—a little teaching up front goes a long way.

3. Real Marriage Will Help You to Counsel Others

Some of your friends are probably dating, thinking of getting married, engaged, and/or married. Just because you’re single, doesn’t mean you don’t have wisdom to share with those friends regarding relationships. Paul and Jesus were single, but they still talked and taught on marriage. Real Marriage will help equip you to give good counsel to friends regarding their relationships.

4. You Will Understand Your Family Better

The relationship our parents had impacts us in ways we often don’t understand or see. The material shared in Real Marriage will help you to objectively look back at your parents’ marriage and evaluate what kind of relationship they had, what kind of legacy they modeled for you, and how their marriage may have affected the way you look at and approach relationships in your own life.

5. You Can Investigate Your Idols of Independence and Dependence

Some of you are single and you have idols of independence. You say, “I don’t want to get married. I don’t want to be tied down. I want to come and go as a please. I want to do my own thing. I like being independent.”

Some of you are single and have idols of dependence. You say, “I can’t be alone. I have to have a date. I always need to be in a relationship. I’m terrified of being alone.”

Jesus says, “I’ll never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). You are not alone. And Jesus is God, and your whole life is put together by him. So, you’re not independent either.

Real Marriage will help you examine the twin idols of independence and dependence in you life.

6. Real Marriage Will Help You Deal with Sexual Sin

Throughout the Real Marriage content, we deal a lot with sex, sexual sin, and sexual abuse. With a high percentage of singles in the country and growing percentage in The Bridge, some of you have done things that you regret and you don’t know how to experience healing and hope.

Others of you have had sin committed against you sexually and you need help. The Real Marriage material provides much hope and guidance in this area, as Grace Driscoll shares (in the book) her experience as a sexual assault victim and the healing she found in Jesus. Statistically, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men admit to being sexual assault victims. We want to help.

7. Learn How to Live a Full Life As a Single Person

We worship a single guy named Jesus. He never married, but he did live a full and perfect life—the best life ever lived—as God incarnate. We want you to see through Jesus that being single is not some form of second-class citizenship. Rather, we want you to understand that your singleness gives you a great opportunity to minister well, serve the church, honor and glorify God, and to, if you so desire, prepare well for marriage.

8. You May Find a Spouse

If you attend The Bridge, this might be a good time to find a spouse if you’re looking for one! We’re talking about marriage, we want single people to come to hear it, and theoretically, you could meet someone.

We’re praying that as this practical and Bible-based teaching on marriage is shared that many lives and marriages are changed. We’re also praying that for our single friends, that this material would be effective as well. We have you at the forefront of our hearts and minds as we begin this exciting series.

Marriage Counseling Orange County: Managing Change and Its …

admin — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 08:43:01 +0000

Change is stressful and difficult. Human beings are creatures of habit. When people want change they typically mean that they want others to adjust or they want a system or rule to be modified. People very seldom want to change themselves and even when they want it, they are often unwilling to do what it takes to bring about the transformation. This is no different in relationships. We typically want our spouses to change and of course we ourselves don’t need any changes, right? Most couples who come see me when things go wrong, blame their spouses and want them to change. Most times they deny any problems of which they are accused. Today we are not going to talk about changing as people though; we are going to talk about external changes that impact our relationships.

His company wants to relocate him and she does not want to move to a different city. She wants to have children and he is not ready yet. She wants a bigger home or he wants a new car. Regardless of what the change is, we all face change, that is for certain. Change can happen to us without our consent; such as losing one’s job, disability from an accident, and so forth. Change impacts our relationships whether we like it or not. Sometimes such alteration is good and sometimes it is disastrous. So how can we manage change to minimize any potential negative impact on our relationships?

1. When possible, honestly and deeply discuss the potential change with your spouse and find out how he or she feels about it.

2. If the change is optional, make the decision to change together; both spouses need to agree and take responsibility for the decision together. If things go wrong a joint decision eliminates any blame games.

3. If possible, take change slowly. Introduce the changes in steps, with time in between, to get used to the change.

4. Accept one change at a time, don’t lump many changes together. Every change happening together builds on all the stress of each individual stress until it becomes overwhelming. Changing careers, moving, getting married, and having surgery all within a few months, for example, is not a good idea. If possible, stagger these changes over time.

5. Build on your strengths and accept changes in the areas which you feel confident in.

6. Make sure you are healthy and getting enough exercise before taking on any changes.

7. Be positive.

Pierre F. Steenberg, Ph.D., D.Min. is a relationship expert, a counselor, and a marriage seminar presenter. http://www.designinghearts.com/

To receive your free PDF on using Genograms to analyze your relationship please visit: http://www.designinghearts.com/

Original article

Loving Relationship Issue Specific Independently

admin — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 04:55:47 +0000

Tips about Tips on how to Program The wedding

Additionally, it may result in a lot of pressure as great as engaged and getting married may be. Your profitable marriage involves a significant amount regarding planning. You’ve so that you can choose what kind of pastry you’ll currently have, which often flowery agreements to make use of, your sites for the party and wedding, et cetera. It may be very frustrating. The document below will supply you by using assistance so that you can make your complete marriage procedure a lesser amount of stressful.

magic of making up

Try to find time for you to conduct something unique with regard to your self on your own marriage day. Your good way to begin your wedding has been a calming massage so that you can discharge the tension and to get your time off to a good start.

A locale of which you select for your wedding dinner should have adequate area with regard to dance and activities. It may be a terrible knowledge while everyone around you is attempting to party move seats and tables out of the way to provide anyone some added breathing space to think filled.

If the lamps at your party locale are the kind that can be dimmed learn. You’ll want your choice to dim your lamps throughout dances or maybe currently have brilliant illumination through the wedding. Become sure before you choose for certain to learn about these facts.

Request a close friend or family member if they’d be interested in becoming ordained on the web to be able to officiate your wedding. This can not only save money, nonetheless can also put in a effect regarding style in your wedding. Nevertheless, become sure to check all of the required legalities before going for this.

Then begin to try to find service providers that work with the type of style, and note down your wedding style concepts on paper you have in your mind. Once information have been compiled by you on you can be furnished by the various corporations with your chosen theme, you can begin the process of removal by evaluating their services and costs.

Large candelabras will be overrated and expensive, usually getting more from desk chat than they add to it. Test little, sophisticated accessories so that you can accent platforms, plus develop a pleasant feeling. As friends may be able to see each other without disruption this may permit the free movement of dialogue.

A married relationship coordinator or maybe coordinator can provide you actually while using the support and assistance you actually valuable helper on the morning of the wedding, and can need to program your wedding. It may be frustrating so that you can assembled being married, plus many points may not move because organized. Permit a skilled take care of most of the look or maybe any problems which could reach. Anyone need to enjoy the party and wedding worry-free with your family and friends.

If you’re having a wedding exterior, you must have a plan in case it rains. Arrange a large cover with regard to color or maybe water. Your location by using access to your inside could as well work effectively, only in the instance of poor climatic conditions. You may also deploy boards on the soil which means that your friends do not get dirt on their sneakers.

magic of making up review

If you’re wearing a tux at your wedding, take some time to get one which matches well. Indicate your beloved tux choices to your family and good friends, so that you could possibly get some objective opinions before purchasing a tux A tuxedo you actually wear can handle your case in the photographs for many years ahead, thus choose wisely .

Dress them in clothing that’s secure if you’re going to have kids in your wedding. Select gentle materials which are not firm or maybe miserable. Fresh shoes and boots must be used adequate so that you can assure they are secure. If you pay attention to this, then your kids will have a way to set their focus on the part they’re enjoying in the wedding rather than worrying about their miserable clothing.

Personalize wedding ceremony by means of including the attachment involving the both of you, and issues that characterize your spouse-to-be. Your shared vacation should be replicated by Your wedding concept with your companion, from the beginning towards current.

Maybe solicit your support on the good friend to assist you to bring all your camera gear around. They might help to gather inside the family with regard to group photos at the same time.

It is essential of which every aspect of your respective marriage is actually well prepared, on the foods of which shall be offered towards particulars on the party. Combine anyone into a person’s wedding ensure it is unique and fascinating.

Silk plants can be a distinct selection of blossoms you might choose for your marriage. These can become leaving you with one less point to worry about at the last second, acquired and established well ahead of time.

Thus try to prepare the wedding for a bit later a big day frequently seems like a tense time. This provides the best possibility to take care of anything without having to wake up from the middle on the night continuously being worried. If at all possible, try to do something you will be relaxed by that.

Your wedding photographs can possibly really do the most important photographs that you just ever private. Hire an expert. Tend not to be afraid on spending profit this spot as they can record this magical morning to efficiency.

A menu is actually a superb destination for a reflect social diversity. Create your dinner a lot more original with an cultural dessert or maybe traditional beverages.

Contact specialty bakeries and local retailers if you is left by the plan a thousand-dollar thousand-calorie wedding cake with cold legs plus inquire about scaled-down, individual-sized parts. Several bakeries can provide healthier options, such as 100-calorie cakes, fruit fillings, meringue toppings, or maybe gluten-free materials.

Odds are, you will want to take photographs by using many different persons at your marriage. This can be challenging, particularly if it can be a huge marriage by using lots of participants and almost no time so that you can provide them with. Before the marriage, identify time and an with regard to photographs plus tell a person’s friends.

Union is actually something that females dream of their particular entire life. The design may be frustrating nevertheless. A objective regarding this post would be to give you a few information to generate the look of your respective wedding day much simpler so that you can handle.

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Conserve My Marriage Today Evaluation: Marriage Recovery Small …

admin — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 04:55:46 +0000

Is the particular “Save My Relationship Today” E-Course and also E-Book Best for you?

If you might have found this post, then almost certainly you believe that the marriage is within crisis. If it is the situation, the other of the very most crucial stuff to do is to get your hands upon as many information, ideas, and also resources as it can be. In case you are decided on save your relationship and have told your self, “I must conserve my relationship today”, then a immediacy of the situation is shateringly apparent for you. To save your own marriage, you have to be dead-set upon mending the wounds of the injured partnership. This review regarding “Save My Relationship Today” was written for that married individual that00 will either be concerned for that state of their relationship, presently facing separation and divorce, or would like to prevent divorce through improving their relationship. You may use this evaluation to help you find out if this training course is the best answer to your current scenario.

All in regards to the “Save My Relationship Today” E-Course and also E-Book

“Save My Relationship Today” is a six day mini E-Course and also instruction-filled E-Book, through Amy Waterman, along with professional marriage reconciliation guidelines, course directions, and advice to assist resolve your circumstances.

“Save The Marriage Today” may help people in stretched relationships who are intent on learning techniques and methods to assist in saving their relationship; are intent on the making their own marriage better, more pleasurable, and much more fulfilling, would like to learn what methods they may be generating their spouse far from them, would like to learn the way to change the method he or she goodies his or her husband or wife, and wish to learn to keep their own marriage alive and powerful.

Examples of Relationship Problems that “Save The Marriage Today” Might help Solve

This “Save The Marriage Today” review shows to you there are many strategies you may use, beginning today, that may help you live your wish to stay married for your spouse. These types of techniques include many step by step instructions and exercises it is possible to employ to free your troubled marriage from the problems that have got brought it into turmoil mode.

Some from the issues that “save My Relationship Today” helps with are generally: out-of-control quarrels, unfaithfulness, cash problems, and much more.

“Save The Marriage Today” Marriage Preserving Tip: Simply The actual Steps Closely to find out Results

The processes for success given by this course are basic to understand and also implement. Look at the free of charge six-day mini-course and stick to its instructions thoroughly. Go through the time period from the 6-day mini training course to benefit through the time indexed method of marriage repair. Fast action and also intentionality are critical towards the maximization from the effectiveness from the training course.

If your partner is not reading through it to hand, after that implement the instructions inside the framework of the marriage by itself. This may motivate your spouse to participate you in thoroughly following its directions. Also, browse the E-Book thoroughly, and apply the data of relationship getting back together together with your husband or wife.

Conclusion

By simply subsequent what is specified by this useful resource, you will understand how to deal with15443 a lot of lifes marriage problems. Also, the particular “Save My Relationship Today” E-Book and also E-Course materials will deal with the problems these marriage issues trigger in your partnership.

One marriage issue that is addressed will be the tendency for partners who are focusing on their marriage with each other to “over-do” their relationship saving attempts. “Save My Relationship Today” will help you stop your efforts in order to save the marriage through accidentally becoming another stress on the relationship.

Overall, the particular “Save My Relationship Today” E-Book and also E-Course package is actually tailor-made to restore really like, trust, feeling of connection, and also strength in your martial relationship. It can help the two of you save your valuable marriage from separation and divorce. Also, it could bring your relationship back from the damage of separation and also heartbreak.
Save My Marriage Today Review

Texas Marriage License Requirements , What Normal Matrimony is …

admin — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 02:41:45 +0000

This can be the best sort of relationship on culture. Nevertheless, one can find the greatest others involving marital life and additionally, many people have the texas marriage license requirements adhering to. You can get comparable sexual intercourse marital relationship. This is actually the marriage approximately people who find themselves lgbt. A number of spiritual people won’t aid similar sex marriage. Then again, once we proceed straight into modernity, increasing numbers of people come to be on the market to is a superb married life. The traditional marital life contours with the classic customs plus religious beliefs. Various psychic most people believe family members model includes a the mother a parent and children. It is the snapshot that lots of people have almost adults recognizing. It is the reason why many individuals are definitely not on the market to thinking about an electric connected with spousal relationship. One other particular married life is undoubtedly polygamy. It calls for one receiving targeted than one better half. Wives or girlfriends could be possibly he can afford. These types of relationships were being favored on the Jewish traditions. But with the actual begin the fresh Testament, God requested that one texas marriage license requirements boyfriend marry a particular dearest.

Polygamy was also very well liked but is undoubtedly, within the Gear culture. A good example involving polygamy in the current Camera belongs to Full Mswati is undoubtedly Swaziland who may have a lot more than 20 spouses. This number continues to grow every year. When it comes to African countries, a lot of girlfriends or wives happen to be a sign of plethora and also this community is not texas marriage license requirements going away soon. Therefore, standard matrimony depends on any way of life of your selected people today. And the second type of relationship is usually polyandry. Sometimes it is in no way well-known and yet transpires the exact same. It calls for a lot of men planning a ceremony to a new singular person. A regular union will be influenced by law regulations and, to assist actions that are directly into creating this form of texas marriage license requirements relationship. The best means of starting off an old-fashioned marital life is thru a standard wedding and reception. In the western world, a really spousal relationship ended throughout chapel not to mention, a great deal of anticipation was required. This kind of comes about today. It is almost always a good communal matter and also, go with wooden standard happening. A normal big event who texas marriage license requirements dirt a conventional marriage should have your future wife slip on white. This can be to symbolize chasteness.

Purity would have been a highly essential part of a spousal relationship. Thus, in the past the ladies must be virgins anytime planning a wedding. This matter seemed to be significantly more important plus more stressed out during young girls rather then for teenagers. These days, your wedding day has evolved enormously and additionally, numerous things do not have. For example, women can make unique colours as a result of whitened. The requirement of love has stopped being certainly, there along with, women are often more generous relating to love. This partnership will need to have being married permit to fulfill lots of the laws and regulations on the stretch of land. If you’re a married couple wanting to get texas marriage license requirements wed, learn some of the laws from your nation or perhaps point out in connection with this.

- Texas Marriage License Requirements -
What is important in that somewhat married life is to match many of the law. – Texas Marriage License Requirements -

The Three-Fold Cord – First Presbyterian Church of San Anselmo

admin — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 02:41:44 +0000

I’m guessing I’m not alone in recycling paragraphs from old wedding homilies, adding material that is personal to the couple standing in front of me. One of the things I often say in the short sermon I give at a wedding is that the guests are there not only to celebrate, but also as witnesses – that they have a role in the marriage. The couple chose each other to marry but they chose us, as witnesses, and we are there to hold them, from that day forward, in our hearts and in our prayers. And then I remind them that there is another witness and a greater source of help. If the wedding is actually in the church, I might say something like, “These two people have chosen to get married here instead of in a bowling alley or in a junior high school gymnasium, not only because it’s somewhat more aesthetically pleasing, but also to turn our attention to that other witness. And even if we, in the pews and elsewhere in the room, fall down on the job of supporting them, God will not.”

Getting married changes a relationship. Being married is different from living together. If you are married, you know this. And if you are a person of faith, it makes a difference whether your wedding is in a church or performed by clergy. It makes a difference to make your promises before God. Sometimes I’ll tell the couple that God is the third cord in the three-fold cord that Ecclesiastes 4 says is not quickly broken. It makes a difference to feel that God is a part of the relationship.

The Ninth Circuit declared last week, “Proposition 8 serves no purpose and has no effect other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their family relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples” (http://www.ca9.uscourts.gov/datastore/general/2012/02/07/1016696com.pdf ). The Court concluded that the Constitution doesn’t allow that. I had the court’s opinion in mind last Saturday, when the Presbytery of the Redwoods voted to send two overtures dealing with same-gender marriage to our denomination’s General Assembly (an overture is something like a bill before Congress). One overture would allow Presbyterian clergy to officiate at the weddings of same-sex couples. The other would change the definition of marriage in our Book of Order so that it says “two people” instead of “a man and a woman.” Now, these changes in Presbyterian policy and practice would not involve “reclassifying” family relationships, as ours is not a situation in which rights have been stripped away from people who once had them, as was the case with Proposition 8. Nevertheless, the Presbyterian Church’s current policy communicates that the marriages of same-gender couples do not have equal dignity to opposite-gender marriages; that they are not equally sacred and are not equally blessed. It looks to the world as though we intend to demean the status and dignity of this group of people, their relationships, and their families.

We know the consequences of communicating that people are “less than.” This past week each of my daughters, separately, sent me a Rolling Stone article about how the anti-gay climate in one Minnesota town has led to a rash of teen suicides (http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/one-towns-war-on-gay-teens-20120202). It is not far-fetched to say that depriving couples of the right to marry contributes to the treatment of gays and lesbians as second class, or worse.

The truth is that I have never, ever understood how gay marriage undermines straight marriage. I just don’t get it. I’m fairly certain that the only threats to my marriage are my pride and my anger and my laziness about commitment (and my husband’s but he isn’t here to defend himself so I’ll leave him out of this). Some of the best, most enduring, most monogamous relationships I’ve ever known are between two people of the same gender. But that isn’t why I supported these two overtures. I supported them because gay and lesbian people are equally human, equally children of God, should be treated with equal dignity and should have an equal opportunity to have their relationships blessed by the church, even if their relationships are no more ideal than the straight couples we marry – or no more ideal than our own.

We all need – and deserve – that third cord.

Marriage Relationships And Divorce | Divorce Strategies …

admin — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 01:32:51 +0000

Marriage relationships and divorce is a topic that is fairly common. It is because it is exhausting to say the phrase marriage with out divorce being somewhere at the back of your mind. It is fairly important so that you can know among the information on marriage relationships and divorce. First, the divorce price within the United States is 50%. This is to say that in each two marriages, one will not make it. Placing it this fashion is quite alarming nevertheless; this isn’t to dampen your spirit. On a extra constructive word, it is vital to say that most young folks see the necessity to get married someday. This reveals that marriage nonetheless holds the significance it deserves. It doesn’t matter what they are saying, marriage will nonetheless remain as the one reliable option to get into a long term relationship and have offspring. In case you are for the idea of marriage, it is advisable to acknowledge divorce as a reality. Once in marriage, there are several things you can do to make sure that you don’t reach that stage the place divorce is inevitable.

Marriage relationships and divorce shouldn’t have to go hand in hand. Therefore, once you identify an individual to marry, it’s crucial that you ensure that your resolution is the precise one. Sometimes, we permit the potential for divorce to come up by choosing shindigz coupon code folks we aren’t appropriate with. You should take time before you get married and just remember to marry the partner, you can deal with. As soon as you’re within the marriage, the work begins. Most people will fall asleep and let points clear up themselves. A wedding wants work greater than some other relationship. It is advisable speak in a single voice and uphold the sanctity of marriage. Respect for your associate is essential. There are a number of methods in which you present respect and a method is thru your actions. In case you are angry, do not behave in a infantile manner like many companions do. That you must tell your partner to their face that you are not pleased with a specific issue.

In the marriage relationships and divorce topic, the opposite strategy to show respect to your spouse is through how you talk. It is best to address them in a loving method so that they’ll find the dignity. In case you are not used to exhibiting respect to your partner, why not start exhibiting it today and spot the dramatic difference. Remember, for divorce to occur, it does not take major things but the little stuff you do for a interval of time. To avert divorce, keep the lines of communication open. You shouldn’t have to talk about critical stuff. Make dialog out of silly things and you will grow closer together. Your spouse is not only your marriage companion however, they are your friend. Friends are people you can lean on; individuals you may count on to be there for you. Above all issues play your function and stay away from infidelity, obsessive jealousy, strife, malice and different ills. You’ve the facility to kill or revive your union; choose to keep it alive.

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Saturday Favorites

admin — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 01:32:50 +0000

[ shirt, blazer, and shoes: thrifted, scarf: gift, pants: Forever 21 clearance]

i seriously really suck at posting pictures for my 30x30x under $30 challenge.
so sorry for the random updates every now and then!

i don’t really know how i feel about this outfit… i think i should’ve either just worn the blazer or just worn the scarf. but both together i think looks weird. thoughts??

i am really glad i did the challenge though.
it has really helped me see my closet in a whole new light. as in, i actually have clothes to wear and can make lots of different outfits from.
i think it’s a good challenge for everyone to do to kind of reboot their closet in a way.

okay now on to my favorite links this week!

i thought i’d keep with the Marriage Week theme and share some links to websites that help promote marriage and relationships!

first, i have to give a shout out to StrongerMarriage.org! if you haven’t visited their website before, they have tons of great articles to help strengthen your relationships not matter what stage you are in [dating, engaged, married with or without kids, re-marriage, and so on] They are a great resource and also have free online classes and surveys to help you in your relationship.

next, Lindsey Orton Photography has teamed up with some other wedding vendors to portray Disney Princess Brides. her pictures are absolutely stunning!! so far they’ve done Jasmine, Snow White, and Pocahontas. her work is amazing and i love to see their rendition of what each princess would look like if they were getting married. you seriously need to check it out!

another great website for couples is TwoOfUs.org. i love how they tie in entertainment couple news with real-life stories and quizzes. it’s a great website to check out and browse when you get the chance.

if you are still looking for a Valentine’s gift, you should look at Skye’s shop and her beautiful designs. i want this really really bad. and i’m excited to be getting my own subway art print soon!

if you didn’t see my below post, i was featured in Leslie Blake Magazine’s wedding issue sharing some advice to newlywed couples. basically it’s an incredible dream come true and i feel so blessed that they included me!
my article is on pg. 39 of this month’s issue.

Lelaini over at Soleil Solene is also celebrating Marriage Week and i have really enjoyed reading her insights about marriage and hearing her personal stories.

my friend is needing help with another survey for married couples. if you are married and have a few minutes, could you please take the time to take his survey??
you can find it here.

[via]

i love Mary Kate’s post about marriage and how her and her husband keep their relationship healthy. and aren’t her wedding pictures beautiful!!

and okay so this isn’t about marriage but this post by Cassie made me cry so i had to highlight it. especially when i read it right before Elijah woke up in the middle of the night and wouldn’t go back to be for over an hour. and then he broke one of our glass bowls today and smashed his crackers into fine little crumbs all over our floor…. yeah. i definitely needed that reminder! please read it and be prepared to want to go hug and squish your baby all day.

i hope you are all having a great weekend!!
and getting an early start to your Valentine’s Day!

::: p.s. please remember to take this survey for my cousin and be entered to win a prize! and if you’re not surveyed out, please please also take this one. thanks!!

The Essential Guide to a Lasting Relationship. | Your Marriage …

admin — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:02:56 +0000

The Essential Guide to a Lasting Relationship. (Part II) by Dr. Marty

In this blog I want to share with you additional tips that will help a relationship to avoid pitfalls. Some of the danger signs in relationships are: silence, denial and unleashed resentment.

Folks mistakenly think that by not saying anything they are avoiding a fight. Thought that may be true to some times, unless people get a chance to say what is on their mind (in a constructive way) they never feel as if they are heard.

In terms of denial, if a couple pretends that there aren’t any problems or bad feelings, that denial just festers and then comes out when there is a fight. When things are not identified, people emotionally distance from each other.

In regard to unleashed resentment, what happens is that people have conversations in their head and they are negatively influenced by the resentment they are carrying around.

Silence, denial and stored resentment show how wrong it is to think: “What you don’t know about can’t hurt you”. Actually, what you don’t know can hurt you more, because it just simmers and simmers until it boils over.

Here is a quick test you might take to see where you stand with the issues raised in the last two blogs

Circle the number that is most accurate.

A. I usually deal with problems as they come up

1 2 3 4 5

Don’t agree Agree

B. My partner usually deals with problems as they come up.

1 2 3 4 5

Don’t agree Agree

C. I respect my partner’s boundaries

1 2 3 4 5

Don’t agree Agree

D. My partner respects my boundaries

1 2 3 4 5

Don’t agree Agree

No comments

Body and Soul, Sexuality and Marriage; Part 4

admin — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:02:56 +0000

by Andrew Sciba

(Read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3)

Photo by Tamal

The occurrence of lust within romance is something that generally takes place outside of marriage. Many people, including those married, confuse sexual desire or even sexual passion with the sin of lust. This misunderstanding can lead a person to believe that love and lust must coexist within even a loving, marital relationship. This can open the individual to be accepting of other forms of lust. Lust exists completely within the sexual appetite and by its very definition cannot exist outside of that appetite; however, the sexual desire found within a person can be properly ordered toward a spiritual goodness – one of love rather than lust. It is possible that the belief that love and lust each have a place within marriage is a result of confusing lust with sexual desire; as one spouse appropriately desires the other through love, that desire is mistaken for lust. It does need to be stated that though a marital relationship may exist between a man and woman, it is possible for one to desire the other in such a way that the act is uncharitable or selfish, in which case lust is indeed present.

The sexual act is more than an act based on an individual’s sexual impulses. As discussed earlier, the body acts as a sign of the soul, expressing the spiritual realities of the latter through physical actions. Rarely are actions, especially those that relate us to one another, arbitrary, as they are the product of some emotion, belief or commitment. The sexual act itself, as well as any sexually physical expression, is a sign that explicitly expresses the spiritual reality present within the sacrament of marriage. Though there are various versions of the marital rite, each couple essentially promises to love each other in four ways.

Exclusively – No other person will infringe upon the relationship between spouses. Sins of adultery, such as infidelity, pornography or lustful desires for another violate this vow.
Permanently – The marital bond of spouses continues until death. Divorce is set in opposition to this vow.
Completely – Committing one’s body, emotions, thoughts and desires to the spouse. Various sins of spousal neglect act against this promise.
Fruitfully – Openness to having children with the spouse. All forms of contraception as well as refraining from having children without just cause are offenses to this promise.

These marital promises, made before the spouse, God and the Church through the sacrament of marriage, become the spiritual reality within each of the spouses. Because the spiritual reality of marriage is of such an absolute nature, the act of total self-donation through sexual intercourse becomes the appropriate and proportional physical sign.

Regarding this body and soul relationship conversely, the sexual act is designed only to express the spiritual reality of marriage. Sex communicates to the spouse a love of exclusivity, permanence, completeness and fruitfulness. Each time spouses engage in sexual intimacy, the vows of marriage are restated through this physical expression. Naturally, as a bride or groom would not fail to make one of these promises on their wedding day, the promises must be held intact throughout the marriage. For this reason, as stated above, the use of contraception causes the body to communicate to the spouse falsely; that a fruitful love exists in the sexual expression of the marital vows when it does not.

A great number of people are unaware of this relationship between sexuality and marriage and, as a result, follow popular society’s recommendation of including sexual activity within romantic relationships. Though unknowing individuals may not be aware of all that sex communicates, there is often a sense of the spiritualities associated with it. Because of this, an unmarried couple may choose to include some form of sexual activity in an attempt to conjure the feeling of exclusivity or permanence within their relationship. This is a reversal of the proper order of expression and is ineffective; the physical sign cannot create such a spiritual reality.

Photo by Sam Fam

It is within this context of marriage that the fullness of the gift of self is present and able to be acted upon through sexuality. Because of the profundity of the relationship, it is possible that an absence of shame can occur, not because of shamelessness, but because there “exist[s] the objective conditions for the genuine absorption of shame by love.”[i] Assuming the honest and self-giving nature of the marital relationship, spouses have no need to fear one another and it is in this disarmament that true and holy intimacy can occur.

Perhaps the mystery that we are to ourselves is only surpassed by the mystery that God is to us; though generalities may be explained, the continual development of people and their relationships with others provides the need for constant self-examination. It is through repeated study, prayer and humility that we must approach the subject of ourselves and we must always endeavor to see ourselves in the light of God’s design.

[i] Wojtyla, Karol, Love & Responsibility, p. 191